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What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige." |
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Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? Cause she blows the horn! |
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What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A blonde going through a flashing red light. |
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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? So her male would get delivered to the right box |
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Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a
drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for the Winter." |
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What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? She can't say "No" |
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What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican? Retardo. |
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Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? So she wouldn't get Hearing Aids. |
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How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces. |
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What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air. |
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Did you hear about the blonde coyote? Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. |
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Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor? She thought it was pregnant because missed a period. |
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When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? When you have a tire pump to reinflate it! |
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What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station? The Air Pump! |
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Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an F in sex. |
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What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men? Their heels. |
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What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? A know-it-all bitch |
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What does a blonde think an innuendo is? An Italian suppository. |
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Why don't a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands? Because the vaccum in her head keeps them in place |
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How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose? When she farts, her knees bag |
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How do you describe the perfect blonde? 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on |
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