Page 13

  What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
  Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
Cause she blows the horn!
  What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A blonde going through a flashing red light.
  Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
So her male would get delivered to the right box
  Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
  What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
She can't say "No"
  What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
Retardo.
  Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
So she wouldn't get Hearing Aids.
  How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
  What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
Perri-air.
  Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
  Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
  When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
  What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
The Air Pump!
  Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
Because she got an F in sex.
  What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men?
Their heels.
  What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A know-it-all bitch
  What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
An Italian suppository.
  Why don't a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands?
Because the vaccum in her head keeps them in place
  How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
When she farts, her knees bag
  How do you describe the perfect blonde?
3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on

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