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How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way.
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How do ya paralyze a blonde from the neck down?
Marry her.
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How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
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How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for french fries.
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How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
She has a checkbook.
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How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
There is a stamp on it.
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How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
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What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
Lipstick.
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Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
So she can have a doggie bag for later.
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What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A brain tumor.
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Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
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Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
Too many blondes were drowning.
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Why did Clinton want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?
They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.
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Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From *crawling* across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK."
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Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
In case she locks the keys in her car.
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Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
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Why did the blonde want to become a vegetarian?
Because she loved animals.
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What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
Third Grade.
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What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it
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What is the definition of gross ignorance?
Blondes.
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What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a bar.
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