Page 14

  How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way.
  How do ya paralyze a blonde from the neck down?
Marry her.
  How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
  How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for french fries.
  How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
She has a checkbook.
  How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
There is a stamp on it.
  How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
  What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
Lipstick.
  Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
So she can have a doggie bag for later.
  What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A brain tumor.
  Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
  Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
Too many blondes were drowning.
  Why did Clinton want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?
They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.
  Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From *crawling* across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK."
  Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
In case she locks the keys in her car.
  Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
  Why did the blonde want to become a vegetarian?
Because she loved animals.
  What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
Third Grade.
  What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it
  What is the definition of gross ignorance?
Blondes.
  What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a bar.

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