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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
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What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
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How do blonde braincells die?
Alone.
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How do you brainwash a blonde?
Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
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What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
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How does a blonde part their hair?
(Action of scissoring legs apart)
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What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
An IN-body experience!
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Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
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Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
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Why is a blonde like a turtle?
They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
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What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme.
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How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in their ear.
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How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
By the buckle print on her forehead.
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How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
He's the one with the belt buckle that matches the impression
in her forehead!
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What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her
nametag)?
"'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
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How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
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What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
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What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they
go down on you.
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Why don't blondes eat Jello?
They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those
little packages.
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What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their
head?
All you can eat, under a buck.
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Why don't blondes eat pickles?
Because they can't get their head in the jar.
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