Limericks


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There once was a man named Adair
That was fucking his bitch on the stairs
But the banister broke,
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair



There once was a man from Bombay
Who made a cunt out of clay
He stuck in his dick
The thing turned to brick
And rubbed his foreskin away



A lady while dining at Crewe
Found an elephant's whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
And don't wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too."



There was a young lady from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too."



The President swore to the sky
He'd never asked someone to lie
But the chance was then missed
To request that he list
Positions he'd told them to try.



A girl from 9-0-2-1-0
Came to D.C. to find men to blow.
She padded her knees
To be at full ease.
At 1-6-0-0? Who can know?



A D.A who'd just passed the bar
Told Monica, "Come as you are.
There's no need to dress
We don't want to mess
With evidence you can show Starr."



A right-wing spin doctor who's spun
Lurid tales about Monica's fun
Exclaimed when his eyes
Saw the fruit of his lies
"We've gotten O.J. off page one!"



The President having seen action
Thought he'd had full satisfaction
Then the news of the day
And an urge made him say,
"I want to retract my retraction."



They wanted to put Bill in jail
For using his house to chase tail
But the judge wasn't fooled
Saw no crime so he ruled:
"Not guilty! He didn't inhale."



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