Limericks


~~ Page 11 ~~

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
you've got crabs I suppose."
She said, "Yes and those fuckers are itchin'!"



There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight 'un."
She replied, " 'Pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right 'un."



There was a young man named Hughes
Who swore off all kinds of booze.
He said, "When I'm muddled
My senses get fuddled,
And I pass up too many screws.



A lissom psychotic named Jane
Once kissed every man on a train;
Said she, "Please don't panic!
I'm just nymphomanic.
It wouldn't be fun were I sane."



Said Freud, "I've discovered the Id.
Of all your repressions be rid.
It won't ease the gravity
Of all the depravity,
But you'll know why you did what you did."



There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn't his style.
"I'll get my workouts," he said,
"At home, in my bed,"
"'Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!"



There once was a man from Peru,
Who's limericks always end on line two.



There once was a fellow quite gingerie
Who tore holes in his sister's best lingerie.
He slapped her behind
Then made up his mind
To add incest to insult and injury.



There once was a sailor from Brighton
Who said to a lass, "You're a tight one."
She replied "'Pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole!
There's plenty of room in the right one."



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