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The mathematician Von Blecks Derived the equation for sex. He found a good fuck Isn't patience or luck But a function of Y over X. |
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There once was a girl named Maureen Who was so remarkably lean. So flat and compressed, That her back touched her chest, And sideways, she couldn't be seen. |
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There was an old man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter named Nann Ran away with a man, And as for the Bucket, Nann Tuck it. |
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There once was a Jew from Peru Who was vainly attempting to screw. His wife said, "Oy-vey! If you keep up this way, The messiah will come before you!" |
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There was a young man from St. Louis, Who gave his dear sister a screw. He said with aplomb, "You're better then Mom!" Said she, "That's what Dad told me, too." |
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There were once two young people of taste Who were beautiful down to the waist. So they limited love To the regions above And thus remained perfectly chaste. |
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There was a young lady of Dexter Whose husband exceedingly vexed her, For whenever they'd start He'd unfailingly fart With a blast that damn nearly unsexed her. |
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A huge-organed female in Dallas, Named Alice, who yearned for a phallus, Was virgo intacto, Because, ipso facto, No phallus in Dallas fit Alice. |
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There once was a Scot named McAmeter With a tool of prodigious diameter. It was not the size That cause such surprise; T'was his rhythm, iambic pentameter. |
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There was a young lady of Wheeling, Who professed to a lack of sexual feeling. But a cynic named Boris, Just touched her clitoris, And she had to be scraped from the ceiling. |
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