Coop's Limericks Page 12

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The mathematician Von Blecks
Derived the equation for sex.
He found a good fuck
Isn't patience or luck
But a function of Y over X.

There once was a girl named Maureen
Who was so remarkably lean.
So flat and compressed,
That her back touched her chest,
And sideways, she couldn't be seen.

There was an old man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter named Nann
Ran away with a man,
And as for the Bucket, Nann Tuck it.

There once was a Jew from Peru
Who was vainly attempting to screw.
His wife said, "Oy-vey!
If you keep up this way,
The messiah will come before you!"

There was a young man from St. Louis,
Who gave his dear sister a screw.
He said with aplomb,
"You're better then Mom!"
Said she, "That's what Dad told me, too."

There were once two young people of taste
Who were beautiful down to the waist.
So they limited love
To the regions above
And thus remained perfectly chaste.

There was a young lady of Dexter
Whose husband exceedingly vexed her,
For whenever they'd start
He'd unfailingly fart
With a blast that damn nearly unsexed her.

A huge-organed female in Dallas,
Named Alice, who yearned for a phallus,
Was virgo intacto,
Because, ipso facto,
No phallus in Dallas fit Alice.

There once was a Scot named McAmeter
With a tool of prodigious diameter.
It was not the size
That cause such surprise;
T'was his rhythm, iambic pentameter.

There was a young lady of Wheeling,
Who professed to a lack of sexual feeling.
But a cynic named Boris,
Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling.

Limericks Page 11