Limericks


~~ Page 14 ~~

Shouted Frosty the Snowman, "Hooray!
I'm agog with excitement today!
And the reason of course
A reliable source,
Said the snow blower's heading this way!



Said a horny young girl from Milpitas,
"My favorite sport is coitus."
But a fullback from State
Made her period late,
And now she has athlete's fetus.



There was a young girl from Peru,
Who had nothing whatever to do.
So she sat on the stairs,
And counted cunt hairs;
Four thousand, three hundred and two.



A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice,
Said, "It's been hard since I lost him,
I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price."



There was a young lady named Gilda,
Who went on a date with a builder. He said that he would,
And he could and he should,
And he did and it damn well near killed her.



A remarkable race are the Persians;
They have such peculiar diversions.
They make love the whole day,
In the usual way,
And save up the nights for perversions.



A notorious whore named Miss Hearst
In the weakness of men is well versed.
Reads a sign o'er the head
Of her well-rumpled bed:
"The customer always comes first."



A mortician who practiced in Fife,
Made love to the corpse of his wife.
"How could I know, Judge?
She was cold, she did not budge,
Just the same as she'd acted in life."



The night was almost gone,
As I opened my eyes with a yawn.
I was quite amazed
With her thighs on my face,
I was seeing the crack of Dawn.



"When I see a monk's ass I just grab it."
Said the lazily amorus abbot.
"Although it's more fun
To have sex with a nun,
It's so hard to get into the habit!"



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