Limericks


~~ Page 16 ~~

There once was a woman from Wheeling
Who had a funny feeling
So she laid on her back
And tickled her crack,
And peed all over the ceiling!



There once was a man from St. Pauls
Who used to perform in the halls.
His favorite trick
Was to stand on his prick
And roll off the stage on his balls.



There was an old man from Gallosham,
Who took off his bollocks to wash 'em.
His wife said, "Jack,
If you don't put 'em back,
I'll tread on the buggers and squash 'em."



There once was a man from Kartomb
Who was exceedingly fond of the womb.
He thought nothing finer
Than the human vagina,
So he kept three of four in his room.



There was a young lady from Keith
Who circumcised men with her teeth.
It wasn't the skin
She was interested in,
But the layer of cheese underneath.



The nipples of Sarah Strong,
When excited, are twelve inches long.
This embarrassed her lover
Who was pained to discover
She expected no less of his dong.



There once was a writer named Twain
Who had a peculiar stain
Surrounding the head
Of his prick, it was red
And it was said to wash off in the rain.



The last time I dined with the king,
He did quite a curious thing.
He sat on a stool
And took out his tool
And said "If I play, will you sing?"



There is a young nurse in Japan
Who lifts men by their pricks to the pan.
A trick of Jujitsu
And either this shits you
Or makes you feel more like a man.



There was a young lady named Knox
Who kept a pet snake in her box.
It was trained not to hiss
When she sat down to piss,
But would nibble the noggins off cocks.



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