Limericks


~~ Page 19 ~~

There was an old girl of Kilkenny
Whose usual charge was a penny.
For half of that sum
You could finger her bum;
A source of amusement to many.



Said the whore whom they called Geraldine,
"When I think of the pricks that I've seen,
And all of the nuts
And the arseholes and butts
And bastards like you in between."



There was an old harlot of Wick
Who was sucking a coal miner's prick
She said, "I don't mind
The coal dust and grime,
But the smell of your balls makes me sick."



There was a young lady of Clewer
Who was riding a bike when it threw her.
A man saw her there
With her legs in the air
And seized the occasion to screw her.



There was a young fellow named Hyde
Who took a girl out for a ride.
He mucked up her fuck-hole
And fucked up her muck-hole
And charged her two dollars beside.



There was a young man from Malacca
Who always slept on his left knacker.
One saturday night,
He slept on his right,
And his knacker went off like a cracker.



A certain young fellow named Dick
Liked to feel a girl's hand on his prick.
He taught them to fool
With his rigid old tool
Till the cream shot out, white and thick.



There was a young man named Lanny
The size of whose prick was uncanny.
His wife, the poor dear,
Took it in her ear
And it came out the hole in her fanny.



A milkmaid there was, with a stutter
Who was lonely and wanted a flutter.
She had nowhere to turn,
So she diddled a churn
And managed to come with the butter.



There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who always was jerkin his gerkin.
His wife said, "Now Perkin,
Stop jerking your gerkin,
You're shirking your firking, you bastard."



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