Limericks


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Said a President thought to give pecks
To areas other than necks
"Although it's most sultry
it isn't adult'ry
I'm not even sure that it's sex."



They set up a partisan sting
About Clinton's adulterous fling
It's the economy, stupid!
So forget about cupid
But the media know sex is king.



She was just old enough to drink wine
But the Prez had her play sixty-nine
He used her for jiz
And sometimes to whiz
But never did enter her gyne.



Said Ken Starr, picking his nose,
"I get more than the public suppose.
It's the Washington way,
For the women to pay,
And the men simply take off their clothes.



There was a young girl named Hornatio
Half the age of the Prez by ratio
As an intern unpaid
She'd hoped to get laid
But the Prez wanted only fellatio.



She egged him on with her charms,
And wriggled right into his arms.
She promised him bliss
With her first little kiss
Then Linda Tripped the alarms.



The country, when asked about Bill,
Said, We'd rather pick one who will
Be true to his mate
Not create Zippergate
But who is like that on the Hill?



An intern not yet twenty-six
Found she could work wonders with dicks
Though she had no spouse
She found the White House
A place to perform all her tricks.



There was a young girl from Hong Kong
Whose cervical cap was a gong.
She said with a yell,
As a shot rang her bell,
"I'll give you a ding for a dong!"



There was an old pirate named Bates
Who was learning to rumba on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.



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