A lawyer who was a newlywed groom|
Took his bride to their honeymoon room
But they talked the whole night
As to who had the right
To do what, with which, and to whom.
There was a young man named M'Gurk|
Who dozed off one night after work.
He had a wet dream,
But awoke with a scream
Just in time to give it a jerk.
An agreeable girl named Miss Doves|
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
She will use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.
There once was a lady Annheiuser|
Who claimed that no man could surprise her
But Pabst took a chance
found a Schlitz in his pants
and now, she is sadder.. Budweiser...
There once was a gangster named Brown,|
The wiliest bastard in town.
He was caught by the G-men
Shooting his semen
Where the cops would all slip and fall down.
There was a young man from St. Paul|
Whose cock was exceedingly small.
Now it might do for a keyhole
Or a little girl's peehole.
But for a big girl like me, not at all.
There was a young lady of Bicester|
Who was a lot far nicer than her sister.
The sister would giggle
And wiggle and jiggle,
But this one would come when you kissed her.
There was a young fellow named Charteris,|
Put his hand where his young lady's garter is.
She said, "I don't mind,
And up higher you'll find
The place where my fucker and farter is.
There were three ladies from Huxom|
And whenever we see em, we fucks 'em,
And when that game grows stale,
We sit on the rail
And we pull out our cocks and they sucks 'em.
There was a young lady of lee|
Who scrambled up into a tree.
When she got there,
Her asshole was bare,
And so was her C-U-N-T.