There was a young pair from Uganda|
Who were having a fuck on a veranda.
The drip from their fucks
Fed forty two ducks,
Three geese, and a fucking big gander.
A hungry old trollop from Yemen|
Did a pretty good business with He-men.
But she gave up all fucking
In favour of sucking
For the protein contained in the semen.
There was a young fellow named Biddle|
Whose girl had to teach him to fiddle.
She grabbed hold of his bow
And said, "If you want to know,
You can try parting my hair in the middle."
There was a young fellow named Simon|
Who tried to discover a hymen.
But he found every girl
Had relinguished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond.
A near-sighted chap named Coulter|
Led a glamorous gal to the altar.
Quite lovely he thought her
Till some strong soap and hot water
Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.
There was a young girl of Spitzbergen|
Where people all thought her a virgin
Till they found her in bed
With her quim very red
And the head of a kid just emerging.
There was an old spinster of Tyre|
Who bellowed, "MY CUNT IS ON FIRE!"
So a fireman was found,
Brought his engine around,
And extinguished her burning desire.
There was an old man of Corfu|
Who fed upon cunt-juice and spew.
When he couldn't get that,
He ate what he shat
And a bloody good shit he shat too.
There was a young lady of Totten|
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or the pastries and cakes,
But lived upon penis au gratin.
A young trapeze artist named Bract,|
Is faced by a very sad fact.
Imagine his pain,
When again and again,
He catches his wife in the act.