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There was a girl from the five and ten Who diddled herself with a fountain pen. The top came off, The ink went wild, And now she's the mother of a coloured child." |
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An efficient young fellow named Dave Said, "Think of the time that I save By avoiding vacations, And sexy relations, And taking a crap while I shave." |
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There was a young man from Rangoon Whose farts could be heard to the moon. When you'd least expect 'em, They'd burst from his rectum With the force of a raging typhoon. |
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A gardener named Kenneth McDeare Likes plants more than women, we fear. "He's hardly perennial." Say folks who know Kenny well. "He only comes up once a year" |
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A gay prison chaplain named Locke Had a passion for hard convict cock. For his ass-holey ways In his alcatraz days, He was nicknamed the piece of the rock. |
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A chap they all call Aloysius, Of his wife and a guy grew suspysius. And quicker than you'd think, He found them by the sink, But they were only doing the dysius. |
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Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired; And asked to explain why she was hired. "The executive's dong Is only four inches long. I thought shorthand was all he required" |
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Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask, "I will grant any wish that you ask," Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie, Until I grow weary," But he died of old age at the task. |
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A nutty old doctor named Green Thought he'd try out a brand new vaccine, Gave himself an injection That cure the infection, And even grew hair on his *thing*. |
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Said a pretty young lady from Croft, Whilst amusing herself in the loft, "Salami or wurst Is what I choose first, But with baloney I know I've been boffed" |
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