There was a girl from the five and ten|
Who diddled herself with a fountain pen.
The top came off,
The ink went wild,
And now she's the mother of a coloured child."
An efficient young fellow named Dave|
Said, "Think of the time that I save
By avoiding vacations,
And sexy relations,
And taking a crap while I shave."
There was a young man from Rangoon|
Whose farts could be heard to the moon.
When you'd least expect 'em,
They'd burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon.
A gardener named Kenneth McDeare|
Likes plants more than women, we fear.
"He's hardly perennial."
Say folks who know Kenny well.
"He only comes up once a year"
A gay prison chaplain named Locke|
Had a passion for hard convict cock.
For his ass-holey ways
In his alcatraz days,
He was nicknamed the piece of the rock.
A chap they all call Aloysius,|
Of his wife and a guy grew suspysius.
And quicker than you'd think,
He found them by the sink,
But they were only doing the dysius.
Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired;|
And asked to explain why she was hired.
"The executive's dong
Is only four inches long.
I thought shorthand was all he required"
Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask,|
"I will grant any wish that you ask,"
Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie,
Until I grow weary,"
But he died of old age at the task.
A nutty old doctor named Green|
Thought he'd try out a brand new vaccine,
Gave himself an injection
That cure the infection,
And even grew hair on his *thing*.
Said a pretty young lady from Croft,|
Whilst amusing herself in the loft,
"Salami or wurst
Is what I choose first,
But with baloney I know I've been boffed"