Limericks


~~ Page 25 ~~

There was once a young man named MacBride
Who fell into a privy and died.
MacBride had a brother
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred side by side.



He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.



He'd fart a gavotte for a starter,
And fizzle a fine serenata.
He could play on his anus The Coriolanus:
Oof, boom, er-tum, tootle, hum tah-dah!



There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"



There is a young lass of Valencia,
For whom sex is a form of dementia.
For the first hour she's quiet,
Then she builds to a riot,
With a noise that grows quickly intensia.



He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart The Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata.



Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious Lieutenant Major,
He proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of the Hayden Octet in B-Major.



A disgusting young man named McGill
Made his neighbors exceedingly ill
Because of his habits
Involving white rabbits
And a bird with a flexible bill.



Fuck me quick, fuck me deep, fuck me oft,
In the bog, in the bath, in the loft,
Up my ass, up my quim Knees, armpits, lip rim,
With your prick...but *please*...nothing soft.



It went off in capital style,
And he farted it through with a smile;
Then, feeling quite jolly,
He tried the finale
Blowing double-stopped farts all the while.



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