Coop's Limericks Page 27

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Two elephants named Harry and Fay
Could not kiss with their trunks in the way.
So they boarded a plane,
They're now kissing in Maine,
Because their trunks got sent to L.A.

There once was a man from Sutter,
Who used to jerk off in the gutter,
Till the tropical sun,
Played hell on his gun,
And turned all his cream into butter.

There once was a fellow named Clyde,
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred side by side.

There once was old Chinese drunk,
Who set sail away on his junk,
While dreaming of Venus,
He played with his penis,
Till he floated away in the spunk.

From a niche in the crypt at Saint Giles
Came a sound which resounded for miles.
"My goodness gracious,"
Said Father Ignatius.
"I forgot that the Bishop has piles."

There once was a girl of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam
"If you take me, of course,
You must do it by force
But, thank God, you're stronger than I am."

While in Athens a tourist named Joan
Told her guide, with a trace of a groan,
"Though a fuck is just fine
when I'm lying supine
It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"

There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.

There was a young man from south Boston
Who's car was a small compact Austin.
There was just room inside
For his hair and his hide,
But his balls still hung out, so he lost 'em.

There once was a man of Belfast
Whose balls out of iron were cast.
He managed somehow
To bugger a sow,
Thus you get pig-iron, at last.

Limericks Page 26