Two elephants named Harry and Fay|
Could not kiss with their trunks in the way.
So they boarded a plane,
They're now kissing in Maine,
Because their trunks got sent to L.A.
There once was a man from Sutter,|
Who used to jerk off in the gutter,
Till the tropical sun,
Played hell on his gun,
And turned all his cream into butter.
There once was a fellow named Clyde,|
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred side by side.
There once was old Chinese drunk,|
Who set sail away on his junk,
While dreaming of Venus,
He played with his penis,
Till he floated away in the spunk.
From a niche in the crypt at Saint Giles|
Came a sound which resounded for miles.
"My goodness gracious,"
Said Father Ignatius.
"I forgot that the Bishop has piles."
There once was a girl of Siam|
Who said to her lover, young Kiam
"If you take me, of course,
You must do it by force
But, thank God, you're stronger than I am."
While in Athens a tourist named Joan|
Told her guide, with a trace of a groan,
"Though a fuck is just fine
when I'm lying supine
It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"
There was a young vampire called Mabel|
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.
There was a young man from south Boston|
Who's car was a small compact Austin.
There was just room inside
For his hair and his hide,
But his balls still hung out, so he lost 'em.
There once was a man of Belfast|
Whose balls out of iron were cast.
He managed somehow
To bugger a sow,
Thus you get pig-iron, at last.