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Two elephants named Harry and Fay Could not kiss with their trunks in the way. So they boarded a plane, They're now kissing in Maine, Because their trunks got sent to L.A.

There once was a man from Sutter, Who used to jerk off in the gutter, Till the tropical sun, Played hell on his gun, And turned all his cream into butter.

There once was a fellow named Clyde, Who fell in an outhouse and died. Along came his brother Who fell in another, And now they're interred side by side.

There once was old Chinese drunk, Who set sail away on his junk, While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, Till he floated away in the spunk.

From a niche in the crypt at Saint Giles Came a sound which resounded for miles. "My goodness gracious," Said Father Ignatius. "I forgot that the Bishop has piles."

There once was a girl of Siam Who said to her lover, young Kiam "If you take me, of course, You must do it by force But, thank God, you're stronger than I am."

While in Athens a tourist named Joan Told her guide, with a trace of a groan, "Though a fuck is just fine when I'm lying supine It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"

There was a young vampire called Mabel Whose periods were very unstable. One night by the moon, She pulled out a spoon And drank herself under the table.

There was a young man from south Boston Who's car was a small compact Austin. There was just room inside For his hair and his hide, But his balls still hung out, so he lost 'em.

There once was a man of Belfast Whose balls out of iron were cast. He managed somehow To bugger a sow, Thus you get pig-iron, at last.

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