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There was a young girl of Samoa,|
Who determined that no man should know her.
One young fellow tried,
But she wriggled aside,
And spilled all the spermatozoa.
When Lady Penelope swoons,|
Her tits pop out like balloons.
Parker stands by,
With a gleam in his eye,
And pops them back in with warm spoons.
The was a young man from Dundee,|
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked "did it hurt",
He said "No, not a bit,
It can do it again if it wants."
There was a young Scotsman called Andy,|
Who knocked over his bottle of Shandy.
He lifted his kilt,
To wipe up what he spilt,
And the barmaid said, "Blimey! That's handy!"
I had an ox as a friend,|
I used to call her Gen.
This ain't absurd,
You must have heard,
Of good old oxy Gen.
On a bridge overlooking a ravine,|
Archibald was screwing Kathleen.
The force of his lunge,
Caused the whole bridge to plunge,
The worst fucking disaster yet seen.
There was a young man from Lyme,|
Who couldn't get limericks to sound right.
When asked why not,
It was said that he thought,
They were overly long and far to complex, possibly even dull.
A modest young girl named Oola,|
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula.
A cow ate the grass,
Exposing her ass,
Now she's no longer modest but coola.
Some people come to sit and think,|
Others come to shit and stink.
I come here to rest my balls and,
Read the words upon the walls.
Here I lie in stinky vapor,|
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.