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There once was a girl from Mitchen Who was scratching her puss in the kitchen. Her mother said, "Rose, You've got crabs I suppose." She said, "Yes and those bastards are 'itchin |
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There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady to dinner. At a quarter to nine They sat down to dine; And at a quarter to ten it was in her. |
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There was a young man from Savannah, Who met his end in a curious manner. He whittled a hole In a telephone pole And electrified his banana. |
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There once was a girl named Lewinsky who played on a flute like Stravinsky it was hale to the chief on a flute made of beef that gave her the front page from Kazinsky |
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A widow who fancied a man some Was diddled three times in a hansom. When she clamored for more Her young man became sore And exclaimed "My name's Simpson not Samson." |
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A wanton young lady from Wimley Reproached for not acting quite primly Said, "Heavens above! I know sex isn't love, But it's such an entrancing facsimile." |
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A plumber by the side of a tree Was plumbing his girl with great glee. Said the girl, "Stop your plumbing" "There's somebody coming." Said the plumber still plumbing, "It's me!" |
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There was a young sailor from Brighton Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." She replied, "Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hole There's plenty of room in the right one." |
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There was a young man from Cape Horn who wished he had never been born He wouldn't have been If his father had seen That the end of his condom was torn! |
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An accident really uncanny, Befell an unfortunate granny. She sat down in a chair While her false teeth were there, And bit herself right in the fanny! |
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