There once was a girl from Mitchen|
Who was scratching her puss in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
You've got crabs I suppose."
She said, "Yes and those bastards are 'itchin
There was a young fellow named Skinner|
Who took a young lady to dinner.
At a quarter to nine
They sat down to dine;
And at a quarter to ten it was in her.
There was a young man from Savannah,|
Who met his end in a curious manner.
He whittled a hole
In a telephone pole
And electrified his banana.
There once was a girl named Lewinsky|
who played on a flute like Stravinsky
it was hale to the chief
on a flute made of beef
that gave her the front page from Kazinsky
A widow who fancied a man some|
Was diddled three times in a hansom.
When she clamored for more
Her young man became sore
And exclaimed "My name's Simpson not Samson."
A wanton young lady from Wimley|
Reproached for not acting quite primly
Said, "Heavens above!
I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."
A plumber by the side of a tree|
Was plumbing his girl with great glee.
Said the girl, "Stop your plumbing"
"There's somebody coming."
Said the plumber still plumbing, "It's me!"
There was a young sailor from Brighton|
Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole
There's plenty of room in the right one."
There was a young man from Cape Horn|
who wished he had never been born
He wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of his condom was torn!
An accident really uncanny,|
Befell an unfortunate granny.
She sat down in a chair
While her false teeth were there,
And bit herself right in the fanny!