Limericks


~~ Page 33 ~~

There was a gay Gaucho named Bruno,
Who said, "there is one thing I DO know;
Though women are fine,
and sheep are devine,
It's the Llama that's numero uno."



Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to get her dog, Rover, a bone.
When she bent over,
young Rover took over
and gave her a bone of his own.



There once was a bandit named Blair
Who laid an old maid on the stair.
The banister broke
But he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air.



The nipples of Sarah Strong,
When excited, are twelve inches long.
This embarrassed her lover,
Who was pained to discover,
She expected no less of his dong.



There was a young man named Sweeney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
He thought this uncouth,
So he added vermouth,
And he slipped his girl a martini



There once was a fellow from Yuma,
who told an elephant joke to a puma.
Now his skeleton lies
under hot western skies,
The Puma had no sense of huma!



There was a young lady of Worcester
Who dreamt that a rooster seduced her.
She woke with a scream,
But 'twas only a dream
A lump in the mattress had goosed her.



There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"



There was a young lady from Devizes
Who had tits of different sizes
One was so small,
It was nothing at all
But the other was big and won prizes !



There once was a young man named Drude,
Who was so incredibly rude,
But he could persuade,
The most innocent maid,
And though rude this crude dude could get screwed.



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