Limericks


~~ Page 4 ~~

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high,
Pulled down his fly,
And Jill said, "Where's the beef!"



Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
And turned it's wool to nylon.



Little Jack Horner,
Sat in the corner,
Eating his sister Mary.
He stuck in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said, "Hey, what happened to your cherry?"



Jack was nimble
Jack was quick
But Jill preferred the candlestick!



Old mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone.
But when old mother bent over,
Rover drove her, because
Rover had a bone of his own.



Little Willie, full of glee,
Put radium in grandma's tea.
Now he thinks it quite a lark
To see her shining in the dark.



A man's occupation,
Is to stick his cockulation.
Up the woman's ventilation,
To increase the population,
Of the coming generation.



Here is to the women in the red shoes.
She drinks our liqueur, she drinks our booze.
She has no cherry, but that is no sin.
She still has the box that it came in.



When I was young, I had no sense.
I took a girl behind a fence.
I gave her a shilling,
And she was willing.
I gave her a pound,
And she lay on the ground.
I tickled her back,
And she opened her crack,
And that's where I stuck my Union Jack!



Bang-Bang Lulu,
Bang away all day...
Who's gonna do the banging
When Lulu goes away?



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