Limericks


~~ Page 5 ~~

Rich girls use a kotex
Poor girls use a rag
Lulu's so damn wide
She uses a burlap bag!



There once was a man from Cape Horn
Who wished that he'd never been born.
He wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of his condom was torn.



There once was a woman named Jane
Whose face was exceedingly plain.
But down in her cellar,
She was a real live-heller,
So the boys came again and again.



There once was a man from Los Leaver
Who had an affair with a beaver.
The results of that fuck
Were a canvas-backed duck,
Two canoes, and a golden retriever.



There once was a fellow named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
He said, "I would admit,
That I'm a bit of a shit,
But think of the money I save!"



There once was a young man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
He said, "What the hell,
You get used to the smell,
And think of the money I save!"



There once was a man named Matt
Who was short, bald, ugly, and fat.
I'm willing to bet,
The only pussy he gets
Is when he goes home to his cat.



There once was a lad named Kevin
Whose girlfriend was four foot eleven.
She looked at his cock
When it was hard as a rock,
And it was ten inches long...minus seven.



There once was a woman named Ann
Who was said to be quite like a man.
When nature did call,
She ran down the hall,
And went to the gentleman's can.



There was a young girl from France
Who got on a train, by chance.
The engineer fucked her,
As did the conductor,
And the brakeman came in his pants.



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