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There was a young lady from Maine Who claimed she had men on her brain. But you knew from the view, As her abdomen grew, It was not on her brain that he'd lain.

There was a young lady of Norway Who hung by her toes in a doorway. She said to her beau, "Just look at me Joe, I think I've discovered one more way."

There once was a plumber named Lee Who was plumbing a girl by the sea. Said she, "Please stop plumbing, I think someone's coming!" Said he, "Yes I know, love, it's me."

There was a young girl from Devizes Who had breasts of different sizes. One was so small, Really nothing at all, The other was huge, it won prizes.

I once met a lassie named Ruth In a long distance telephone booth. Now I know the perfection Of an ideal connection, Even if somewhat uncouth.

There was a young man of St. John's Who wanted to bugger the swans. But the loyal hall porter Said, "Pray take my daughter! Those birds are reserved for the dons."

A worried young man from Stamboul Founds lots of red spots on his tool. Said the doctor, a cynic, "Get out of my clinic; Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!"

There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, Till a Spanish grandee Got her off with his knee, And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was a young lad name of Durcan Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. His father said, "Durcan! Stop jerkin' your gherkin! Your gherkin's for ferkin', not jerkin'.

There once was a young fellow named Perkin Who always was jerkin his gherkin Says the wife to young Perkin "Quit jerkin' yer gherkin, Yer shirkin' yer ferkin' ya bastard!"

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