Limericks


~~ Page 9 ~~

A mathematician named Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball.
And the cube of its weight
Times his pecker's, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call.



There was an old man from Australia
Who painted his arse like a dahlia.
The colors were fine,
Likewise the design,
The aroma, alas, was a failure.



The sea captain's tender young bride
Fell in the sea at low tide.
You could tell by her squeals
That one of the eels
Had found a dark little place to hide.



There once was a priest from Birmingham
Who buggered three maids while confirming 'em.
While praying to God,
He excited his rod
And ended up putting his sperm in 'em.



There once was a girl named Beth Berman
Who liked to drink everyone's sperm in.
She said, with a pout,
"This tastes like sauerkraut.
Are you sure that you aren't a German?"



There once was a man from Brewster
Who said to his wife as he goosed her,
"It used to be grand,
But just look at my hand;
You ain't wipin as clean as you used ta."



There once was a man from Kent
Whose cock was so long it was bent.
To stay out of trouble,
He stuck it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.



There once was a young man named Springer
Who got his testicles caught in the wringer.
He hollered with pain,
As they rolled down the drain,
"There goes my career as a singer."



There was this lady from Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger. They returned from the ride,
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger.



There once was a woman from Reno
Who lost all her money at keno.
She laid on her back,
And opened her crack,
And now she owns the casino.



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