I'm A Senior Citizen
| 1. | I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 PM. |
| 2. | I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer. |
| 3. | I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going. |
| 4. | I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid. |
| 5. | I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go. |
| 6. | I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. |
| 7. | I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying. |
| 8. | I'm very good at telling stories ... over and over and over and over. |
| 9. | I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine |
| 10. | I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care. |
| 11. | I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians. |
| 12. | I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place. |
| 13. | I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg. |
| 14. | I'm having trouble remembering simple words like... |
| 15. | I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate. |
| 16. | I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies. |
| 17. | I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory. |
| 18. | I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less. |
| 19. | I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors ... absolutely nothing! |
| 20. | I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days. |
| 21. | I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP. |
| 22. | I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150? |
| 23. | I'm supporting all movements now ... by eating bran, prunes, and raisins. |
| 24. | I'm a walking storeroom of facts ... I've just lost the storeroom. |
| 25. | I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired. |
| 26. | I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! |
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