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Two guys are riding to work on the bus. They both see two dogs goin' at it on a lawn. One guy, who's married, looks at the other and says, "Jeez, I'd give anything to do it to my wife like that." The other, a single guy, says, "Heck, that's easy. Just feed her three martinis." The same two guys are riding the bus to work the next morning. The single one asks the other, "Well, did you get to do it to your wife doggie style?" The married guy replies, "Yes, but it took SIX martinis." The single guy exclaims, "SIX martinis! How come so many?" The husband replies, "Hell, it took three just to get her out on the lawn."

A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says "OK,, just grip it like you do your husband's member". After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the line. The instructor says, "Wow that's great. Now just try taking the racquet out of your mouth."

It was Saturday night and Superman wanted to party. He phoned Batman but he said Robin was sick and he had to stay home and take care of him. Superman decided to fly over to Wonder Woman's house and see what was going on over there. He landed on her balcony, looked in the bedroom window and saw her lying on her back on the bed. She was naked and had her legs apart. "Hey," he thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it." He does it, but something startles Wonder Woman and she says, "Did you hear something?" "No," says the Invisible Man, "but my ass is killing me."

This newly married couple is making love every night. Eventually they have kids. So they make up a term for making love so the kids won't figure out what they are saying. Now, they say let's go do the laundry. One night the whole family was eating dinner and the husband says to the wife, "Hey honey let's go do the laundry." The wife said, "Not right now I'm not feeling well. Maybe later." Later, the whole family is watching TV and the wife says to the husband, "Let's go do the laundry." The husband said "No that's OK I only had a small load, I did it by hand.

Three college boys waiting to take an anatomy exam to get into the University of Texas Medical School. Same question for each: "Why is a penis constructed with a knob on the end." UT student: "So there's minimal strain on the man." Baylor student: "To make it more comfortable for the woman." Texas Student: "To keep your hand from slipping off."

A guy stops over his friends house and only the wife is home. She invites him in. He says, I'll give you $100 if you show me one of your breasts. She agrees and shows him one. He pulls another $100 bill out of his pocket and says I'll give you this other $100 if you show me your other breast. She agrees and shows him the other one. He says that was really nice, thanks her and leaves. When her husband gets home she tells him that his buddy stopped over. He says "great, did he drop off the $200 he owes me?"

Clinton is out jogging around in some of the seedier areas of Washington D.C. He notices a good looking prostitute. She sees this and calls out: "Fifty dollars!" He is tempted, but the price is a little high. So he calls back: "Five!" She is disappointed and turns away and Bill continues his jog. A few days later, he finds himself jogging in the same area and as luck would have it, the prostitute is still there. But she want not come down on her price. "Fifty!" she shouts and Bill answers her: "Five!" No sale. About a week later, Hillary has decided that she wants to get into shape so she demands to go jogging with Bill. They get to the seedy part of town and the same prostitute is still there. She eyes Bill and Hillary together and yells: "See what you get for five dollars!"

There are three Jewish mothers bragging about their sons. The first one says "My son is very successful. He is the best lawyer in New York City." The second one says "My son has done better than that. He is the best Doctor in New York City." The third one says "My son has not done that well. He does not have a very good job, and he is homosexual. But he has these two great boyfriends....One is the best lawyer in New York City, and the other is the best doctor in the city."

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: "What are you doing here today?" Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it." Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25." The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center. Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?" Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?" The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?," she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..." "Like this?" "A little more..." "Like this?" "No. A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?" "A little bit." "Now stretch it over your head!"

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