Page 35

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.

A certain young man finally won a date with the blonde female of somewhat questionable morals that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade". But the young man was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his Johnson immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, "So that's how you guys load those things!"

After a long sequence of lovemaking, the doctor glanced adoringly at his lady love, who dozed next to him. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pang of guilt. "Relax, Howard," he told himself. "You’re not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." "No," another inner voice says.., "but, you’re a veterinarian!"

Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally together." A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?" The priest says, "I mean her legs."

What do you get when you breed a cat with a rabbit? A pussy hare.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

A young man bought a new pair of boots of which he was very proud so he decided to go dancing an give them a try. After dancing with one lady for a few minutes he said "I bet you I can guess the color of your panties." "O.K.", she replied, "what color do you think they are?" "Blue", he replied. "How did you know that?" she asked? "I saw the reflection in my shinny new boots", he said. "Here she said dance with my sister an tell what color she has on", the lady said. After dancing a few minutes the young man started rubbing he toes on his pant cuffs an started to dance again. After a few minutes he ask the lady "what color panties do you have on, I can't seem to make them out." To which she replied, "I don't have any panties on." With a sign of relief the young man said, "oh good for a minute I thought I had a crack in my new boots."

Jane was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp..... only to discover a cucumber in his hand. "Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 5 years!?!" "Honey, let me explain!" "Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a --" "Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted, "maybe you'd care to explain our 3 kids!!!"

What is the last thing each Tickle Me Elmo doll receives before he leaves the factory? Two Test Tickles

A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "Yes, I am." The baby said "Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth." He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" "Yes, I am," she said. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born" he said. He then looked at his father and asked "Are you my father?" "Yes, I am," his father answered. The baby motioned him close, then poked him on the forehead with his index finger 5 times, saying "I want you to know that THAT HURTS!"

To Page 34 Coop's Home Page To Page 36 Back To Dial A Joke-Page