Page 39

This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample. So the girl At the front desk says to him. " Thank you for coming."

What is the definition of a hillbilly virgin? An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers.

What's the difference between trash and white trash? Absolutely nothing. They both drive around in dump trucks, smell like shit, and get more and more rotten each day.

What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? You have to move them both aside before you eat

This blind guy was walking pass the fish market and he said "Good morning ladies..

How can ya tell when a woman has fucked too much? Ya put yer thumb in her ass, AND yer middle-finger in her cunt... Now, if ya can SNAP yer fingers, ya know she's been fucking too much..

A jogger is running, by the lake, by the woods. He hears moaning off in the distance. He runs over and discovers a woman propped up against a tree...with no arms and no legs. He says "Can I help you?" She says "I'm 29, have no arms or legs, and I've never been hugged..." He feels sorry for her so he leans over, gives her a hug, and goes on his way. Another jogger is not far behind, running by the lake, by the woods and hears this sobbing off in the distance. He goes over to check it out and discovers this woman. He says, "Can I help you?" She sobs, "I'm 29 years old, have no arms or no legs, and I've never been kissed." He feels sorry for her, and says "Well, I'll give you a kiss", and does just that. A few minutes later, another jogger comes along, jogging by the lake, by the woods. He hears this loud wailing off in the distance. He follows the sound and comes across the woman. "Can I help you?" he asks. She replies: "I'm 29 years old, I have no arms, I have no legs, and I've never been fucked!" So the jogger picks her up, throws her in the lake, and says "Now you're fucked!"

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what costume to wear to go to a fancy dress party. Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation", said the man "I just came in my pants"

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly, "in this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweat shirt, even when we make love," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweat shirt, even when we make love," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"

To Page 38 Coop's Home Page To Page 40 Back To Dial A Joke-Page