Page 231

Part of the popularity of ballet today is the fact that married men are able to watch a number of ladies, who for over two hours, never say a word!

Three race horses were bragging about their race averages. "I won 5 out of 20 races" said the first horse. "Oh yea! I won 15 out of my 30" said the second. "Hah! I won 50 out of 60" said the third. Hiding behind a hay bail, a greyhound was listening in on the conversation. He steps into view and says. "Well I won 99 out of 100 of my races" The third horse looks at the second horse and says "WOW!!....A talking dog!."

Two gay men were having sex when the phone rang and one guy said hold on I'm going to answer the phone. While im gone don't masterbate. About 5 min. later the guy that answered the phone came in and saw white stuff all over the wall and said "I told you not to masterbate." The guy in the bed said "I didn't masterbate, I farted."

What tastes good on pie, but not on pussy? Crust!

What do gay guys call hemorroids? Speed bumps!

What do gay guys call condoms? Seal a Meals.

Kid: Mom! Everyone at school says I look like a werewolf! Mom: Shut up and comb your face!

A guy walks into a bar and sees this prostitute in the corner. So he walks up to her and she says.. "For 50 bucks I'll suck your dick and sing the national anthem perfectly." So he agrees. She takes him into a room where it's pitch black and she starts to suck his dick. "Oh say can you seee...." Perfect. So the next day he goes in the bar and sees the same prostitute there. He says,"I gotta know how you did that!" She says "I'll do it again for 100 bucks." So he agrees again. The go back into the same room and this time he brought a flashlight. She starts to suck his dick and... "Oh say can you see...." Perfect. So he quickly turns on the flashlight and sees a glass eye sitting on the table!

During the Gulf War, an Air Force jet crashed in the Sahara. The pilot and co-pilot bailed out. Landing on the ground, they saw nothing but sand for miles and miles. They walked all day, becoming hungry, and drinking the last water in their canteens. After a few more hours, crawling across the burning sand, they came across the body of an Iraqui pilot. He had been there for a few days, and was decomposing. Being hungry, the co-pilot started eating the dead man. The pilot just watched. After a short rest, they continued their trek. A few hours later, the co-pilot became violently sick, an vomited. Quickly, the pilot scrambled over to his buddy, and and said, "I knew if I waited long enough, I'd get a hot meal."

Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.

To Page 230 Coop's Home Page To Page 232 Back To Dial A Joke-Page