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A guy walks into a drug store and goes to the lady at the counter and asked for a condom. The lady said, "What size would you like? I don't know I have never needed one before. The lady says, "Well go back to the fence at the back it has three holes in it stick your penis in them and then tell me which one fits the best. The guy runs around back, and so does the lady. He sticks his dick in the first hole and the lady (who is now behind the fence) put her front side forward. Ahh that feels good the guy says. He goes to the next hole and puts it in. She bends over and backs up to the fence. That feels even better than the first one. He goes to the last hole puts it in, she opens her mouth. The best one yet so he runs back in the store. The lady made it back before him. "Well what size of condom do you need?" the lady asked. Forget about the condom he says give me 20 yards of that fence.

Did you hear about the little boy who wanted a watch for Christmas? They let him!

What do you call the space between the vagina and the asshole? A Chin Rest!

Good evening ladies", Sherlock Holmes said as he passed three women eating bananas on a park bench. "Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked. "No", Holmes replied, "I've never met the nun, the prostitute or the bride we just passed." "Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did you know all that?" "Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate the banana by holding it one hand and using the fingers of the other hand to properly break the fruit into small pieces." "The prostitute", he continued, "grabbed with both hands and crammed the whole thing into her mouth." "Amazing!" Watson exclaimed. "But how did you know the third was a newlywed?" "Because she held it one hand and pushed her head toward it with the other."

What do you call that place between the vagina and asshole? Taint! Because taint pussy and taint asshole it's just plain taint.

One day two blind men started fighting. Pretty soon a crowd surrounded them. Then one of the members of the crowd yelled out "I bet 10 bucks on the one with the knife." Both men ran away.

One day in the forest a rabbit and a bear were talking when the rabbit said "Gee, I feel like a shit" "Me too", said the bear. So they wandered off to a quiet spot and took a shit. Then the bear said to the rabbit, "Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" "No", replied the rabbit. "Good" said the bear so he grabbed the rabbit and wiped his ass with him.

Can a female get pregnant from anal sex? Sure, where do you think lawyers come from.

An Australian goes to buy a condom at a nearby chemist. The lady behind the counter gives a choice of three types. German, French, and Australian. "What's the difference," he asks? "Well, the Germans are quite active. They have 7 in the pack. One for Monday, one for Tuesday, and so on." "The French are very passionate people. They have 8. One for Monday, and so on, and 2 on Sundays." "The Australians, well, they have 12." At this, the Australian swells up with pride, Really 12? "Yes, 12. One for January, one for February...."

What do you call a fourteen year old virgin in Kentucky? Fast

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