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All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, "What was that for?" Wife said, "Because, you are a bad fuck". Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, "And may I ask what's that about?" Husband said, " Simple, because you know the difference.

What does a near sighted gynecologist and a healthy dog have in common? They both have wet noses!

Little Willie had a gambling problem. He'd bet on anything. One day, Willie's father consulted his teacher. The teacher said. "Mr.Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie a real lesson. We'll trap him into a big wager that he'll lose." Willie's father agreed to cooperate with the plan. The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers with the other children, and she said, "Willie, I want you to remain after class." When the others had left the classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could say a word, he said, " Dont say it, Miss Brown; I know what you're going to say, but you're a liar!" "Willie!" the startled teacher said." What are you talking about." "Your a fake!" Willie continued."How can I believe anything you tell me? You've got this blond hair on top, but I've seen your bush and it's pitch black!" Trying to keep her cool, the teacher said, "Willie that isn't true." "I'll bet a dollar it is !" Willie challenged. The teacher saw her chance to teach Willie his lesson."Make it five dollars and you have a bet," she said. "You're on!" Willie whipped out a five dollar bill. Before anyone could come into the room, Miss Brown. dropped her panties, spread her legs, and showed Willie that her pubic hair was as blond as the hair on top of her head. Willie hung his head. "You win," he said, handing her the fiver. Miss. Brown couldn't wait for him to leave so she could get to a phone to call his father. She reported what had happened. "Mr. Gaines," she said, "I think we've finally taught him his lesson." "The hell we have," the father muttered. "This morning Willie bet me ten dollars that he'd see your pussy before the day was over.

A nun walks out of a church and sees two little boys kneeling down with their penises stuck in the snow. She runs over to them and asks "Billy, Jimmy what are you doing?" Billy replies "Oh, Father O'Sullivan likes a couple cold ones after the service"

Little Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?" Meg puts up her hand. "The sky is definitely blue." "That’s not bad, Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be gray or red." Young Sally tried :"The grass is definitely green." "Good try Sally, but grass can be yellow or brown too!" Suddenly Little Johnny's hand shoots up. "Miss Brown does a fart have lumps?" The teacher was horrified. "No of course not Johnny! What are you talking about?" So Johnny says, "Well then Miss brown, I've definitely shit my pants!"

Reminds me of the woman who goes to her gynecologist and complains of a pain in her averies. "Don't you mean ovaries ?" the doc says. "No" she says. "We had better have a look" says doc. After a minute of peering, doc says "You're right, It looks like there's been a cockatoo up there"

The horny midget found that the best way to make time with women was to be direct about it. So he went up to the tallest blondest woman at the party and said,"Hey, honey, whaddaya say to a little fuck?" She looked down at him and promptly replied, "Hello, you little fuck!"

What do they call kids born in whore houses? Brothel sprouts.

Know the first symptom of AIDS? A pounding sensation in the ass.

This man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife's pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his hormones to kick in, and he would obtain an erection. That night, he decided to make his move. He turned out all the lights and got into bed. He put his finger in her pussy, and then rubbed it under his nose. He felt a tingling in his cock, and it began to stiffen. Amazed, he decided to see what would happen if he used two fingers. He stuck them in her pussy, then rubbed them both under his nose, and his cock quickly jumped to 3/4 erect. He decided to try 3 fingers, so he put them in her pussy, then rubbed them all around under his nose. Soon he was sporting the biggest hard on he could remember. He said, "Honey, quick turn on the lights, and check this out!" She turned on the lights, and with his dick standing tall, he proudly asked, "What do you think?" She looked at him and said, "Looks like the worst nose bleed I've ever seen!"

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