Page 92

One morning a husband awoke and decided he wanted to go duck hunting. He woke his wife and told her, "You have three choices, either go duck hunting with me, let me fuck you in the ass, or give me a blow job. I have to run out get the dog, and load the truck. You'd better decide by the time I get back." He returned after a while, and said to his wife, "Well, what have you decided to do?" To which she replied, "Well, I sure don't want to go duck hunting, and I'm sure the hell not going to let you fuck me in the ass, so I guess I'll give you a blow job." She begins to suck on his dick, and all the sudden stops and begins spitting and choking. He said to her, "What's the problem?" And she replied, "SHIT! My god, your dick tastes like shit!" He replied, "Oh yeah, the dog didn't want to go duck hunting either."

If tennis players get tennis elbow, what do gynecologists get? Tunnel vision!

A young lady walks into a doctors office. "Doctor I'm suffering from a terrible discharge" The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says "how does that feel?" Young lady, "Oooh doctor that feels lovely... ...but the discharge is from my ear!!

A man walks into a drug store. He walks up to the counter and asks for a box of condoms. Hands over his money, takes the condoms and walks out the door. A few blocks up the street the man walks into an ice cream shop. He pulls out a condom and says to the waiter "Could you fill this up with ice cream please." The waiter is rather surprised but thinks that as long as the man pays who cares what he gets the ice cream in. So the waiter fills the condom with ice cream, hands it back to the man, but his curiosity gets the better of him so he asks "I'm curious to know why you want the ice cream in a condom of all things!" The man replies "Well it's my wife’s birthday today and all week she has been dropping hints about getting a deep freeze, and anything my wife wants, she's going to get!"

What's really good on cherry pie and really bad on pussy? CRUST

A faggot had just learned that his lover had died, and he went to the hospital to say a last farewell. As the doctor followed him to where they kept the corpse, the faggot said, "Could I please take him home with me? Why do you want to do that?" I want to cook him and eat him. That's disgusting, why on earth do you want to do that? Because I want to feel him glide out of me one last time.

What's the difference between a job and a wife? After 20 years a job still sucks.

A guy goes into a bar looking to get laid. He propositions the ladies one by one, but with no success. Eventually, he notices an older woman, in her late 50's, giving him the eye. Well, it's getting late, and he's had a few, so he figures "what the hell." He takes the woman home, tears off her shirt, and starts sucking one of her tits. He's pleasantly surprised when a burst of warm fluid enters his mouth. The man smiles, looks up at the woman and says: "Wow, Baby. I thought you'd be a little too old to lactate." She winks at him and says: "Sugar, I may be a little too old to lactate, but I'm certainly not too young to have cancer."

Did you hear why the fag put his ass in the refrigerator? So that his boyfriend would have something cool to slip into when he came home.

These two whales were swimming in the ocean when the mother saw a boat. She said to her son, " Son you keep your distance from them boats." Then just as they were turning around, BANG! THUD, a harpoon went right into the side of the mother. Several months later the son and his girlfriend were swimming around, when off in the distance they spotted the very same harpoon boat. Thinking of his revenge the Son said to his girlfriend "If we swim up behind them we can blow water up on to the boat and sink it." She agreed and off they went. BLOW SPURT , BLOW SPURT, And down it went. Then the son came up with another idea, "Look at the sailors they’re swimming away, we can really get them back for Mamma's death, Let's eat them up." The girlfriend replied "Hey I helped you with the blow job, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna swallow the seamen".

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